I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
