Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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