you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
