i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
