Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
