Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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