I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
