Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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