I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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