the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
