NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
