HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
