yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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