THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
