hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
