Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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