I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
