dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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