Whod you bang
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
