Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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