You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
