I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
