Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
