i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
