I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
