Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
