he shaved USA in his pubs
Welp...herpes.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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