I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
