My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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