based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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