In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
