this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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