We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
