oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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