wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
