if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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