Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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