Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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