He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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