Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
This is my gift to your gina
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I think I just sharted jello shots
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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