I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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