so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
