Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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