Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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