and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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