It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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