Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
