what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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