Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
