You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
