my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
