I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize